i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
