She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
