You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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