This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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