Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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