i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
