dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
