Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize