ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
