he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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