It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Randomize
