went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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