whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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