we have officially lost it.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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