Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
