New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
