i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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