Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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