I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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