I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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