wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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