im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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