I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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