so explain again why im purple
no
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
