I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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