its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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