How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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