Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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