Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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