He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
