Im at strip club and am horny
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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