It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You work out of a Hotel?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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