hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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