is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
