I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
