Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
