she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
