i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize