Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
