with your own penis?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
