Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
