If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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