Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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