We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
