And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
