Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
