So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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