Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize