I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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