the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
