I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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