currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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