Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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