this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize