It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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