the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
