Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
