Duck Duck Cougar?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
