she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
