Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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