Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
