You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
