I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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