why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
