the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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