Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
