Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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