She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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