what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize