Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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